The Connection Between Father and Son | HealthyPlace
Dads, you have one of the most influential roles in your son's life. Here are 7 things your son needs in the father son relationship. Here are some of the better ways to do fatherhood right: My grown son was with me at the hospital when my father was on life-support. Show him how to tie a tie, educate him about relationships with women, help him. For the adolescent son, relationship to his father is complicated because it is so For more about parenting adolescents, see my book, "SURVIVING YOUR.
The relationship you develop now will set the course for a lifetime bond between you and your son. James Longhurst, a licensed psychologist for Montcalm School, a residential treatment program for troubled and at-risk youth, says that in general, as boys become teens, they sometimes question or challenge all their previously held perceptions about their fathers.
Longhurst says that fathers need to realize that when their boy begins to become a young man, you as a father, need to be sure to keep things in balance. Likewise, they are never as bad, or as stupid, as their teenage sons may say they are.
Longhurst explains that it can be a key time for fathers to use crisis as opportunity, exploring their relationship with their son and working through the conflict to bring the relationship closer.
Sean, a student who recently graduated from Montcalm School and is looking forward to his first summer job, says that when he came to the program, he and his father had a very tense relationship that was, in some ways, at the heart of his troubles. Sean's parents were divorced and his father, a recovering alcoholic, was changing his lifestyle and becoming a different person.
That wasn't easy for Sean. I had a lot of resentment because of my dad's trouble with alcohol when I was young, but when he changed his life and became sober, I wasn't ready for that either. We didn't really spend any quality time together. Our relationship was pretty much going down the tubes.
I stopped going to his house and I think I now know he didn't treat me as bad as I did him. They laid the cards out on the table, and Sean and his father realized, that they both wanted the same things from their relationship.
Parenting Style: The Role of Fathers with Daughters and Sons
He apologized for the mistakes he'd made in the past, as did I, and we built a relationship based on trust. Dad's Impact on His Sons Besides those benefits, there are some positives specific to a good father-son relationship. For example, the researchers at the University of Oxford also report that boys who have involved fathers are less likely to get in trouble with the police as they get older.
Other pluses, according to experts: A good dad can be a positive role model for boys and help them to adopt a healthy gender identity as well as a better awareness of their feelings and emotions. However, someone other than the boy's birth father can provide a beneficial male influence. Single mothers can find alternative role models for their boys in an uncle, grandfather, or good friend.
The Role of Fathers with Daughters and Sons
If no relatives or close acquaintances are available, then mentoring programs such as Big Brothers can provide a willing volunteer. Dad's Impact on His Daughters Girls, too, reap some special benefits from having a close father-daughter bond. According to research from Vanderbilt University, girls who had close, positive relationships with their fathers during the first five years of life tended to reach puberty later than girls who had more distant relationships with their fathers.6 Types of Unhealthy Mother Son Relationships
In addition, the University of Oxford researchers noted that girls who had more involved fathers were less likely to face mental health problems later in life.
Genuine praise and admiration from a father can help his daughter grow up to be an independent, confident woman.