Mother-daughter relationships: which category do you fit into? - Telegraph
They know a mum can change everything with a cup of tea or a lasagne, the weird, gross, devoted love between a single mother and her daughter You're drafted in as relationship adviser by default, which usually means. Traits passed down by Mom could explain your relationship patterns. that Mom had, her daughter saw only a 6 percent increase in overall. Mother-daughter relationships are complex and diverse. Some mothers and daughters are best friends. Others talk once a week. Some see each other weekly;.
For a single mother, the additional responsibility of fulfilling both father and mother duties makes the role significantly more challenging. Daughters expect support and nurturing from a mother but also require the discipline traditionally provided by a father figure.
It is a balancing act that can inspire a single mother to rise to the occasion given she has access to the resources that can make it all possible. The Guilt Trip Girls have a way of holding their mothers accountable for actions for which they are not ready to be responsible. If something goes wrong, it is easiest to blame mom than to see and correct her own mistakes. For mothers raising a girl on her own, it is a double whammy.
Not only is she wrong for failing to fix everything but mom caused the problems by failing to be dad. This is obviously not something that can be fixed like a broken bicycle. Falling into a trap of guilt will do nothing to better the relationship or the situation of the moment.
As a kid and then a teenager, you don't take a lot of time to imagine life from another person's perspective; you zero in on what you want and what you feel.
But there comes a time when you realize that being the child of a single parent isn't all about you. You may go through some rough patches because of the structure of your home life, but guess what: For me, that revelation came at a very critical moment in my adolescence.
5 Ways to Build a Strong Mom-Daughter Bond - iMom
Since a young age, I've always struggled with depression and anxiety — it's just part of who I am. My mother knew this, too, as I had been in child therapy as early as eight years old. So one day when I was about 14 and I refused to answer any of her phone calls — for whatever stupid teenage reason — she absolutely lost it on me when she came home. She bolted upstairs to my room, busted through the door and was visibly freaked out. I had never seen her so upset and scared before. She had thought the worst, that something had happened to me, and it was then that I realized how hard it is for her to be a parent all on her own.
I learned it wasn't just about me. I learned my mother had feelings, pressures, and stresses too, which is something you don't think about when you're young and your parents seem invincible to you. You learn independence at a young age Shutterstock The negative side of growing up with a single parent is feeling a sense of neglect at times.
The positive side of that same issue, though, is that you learn independence at a very young age. Since your parent is often away from home and working, you have to grow up a little bit faster than your peers. You have to be the adult in the house when your parent isn't around. Because my mom was frequently absent, I had to learn how to be strong on my own. I had to learn how to be responsible for myself and for others.
When my mom couldn't field an electrician's visit because she was at work, I had to do it. I also had to make sure the dogs were fed and properly taken care of.
What I learned from growing up with a single parent
Simultaneously, it was about adopting a lot of self-discipline, because I needed to be the one who made sure all my work was done.
My mom didn't pester me about my responsibilities because she had her own. As a result, I became more mature more quickly and learned things about the world and about growing up that my peers didn't learn until much later. Thick skin and independence is absolutely invaluable as you become an adult.
You realize exactly how hard they work for you Shutterstock Ever since I was born, my mother has worked her ass off. I literally don't know how she did it and still continues to do it.
Her daily routine consists of waking up at 3: She works a full day and then gets home during the late evening and repeats this process day in, day out, using the weekends not for relaxation, but to do errands and keep the house running.
Interestingly, this can still alter your relationship. Think of it as a dance, she said. When one person changes their steps, the dance inevitably changes. Both moms and daughters often have idealistic expectations about their relationship. For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always.
This idea can develop from an early age. When her kids were young, Mintle found herself setting up this unrealistic belief during their nightly reading time. Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters.
Be an active listener. They realize conflict is inevitable and they deal with it head on. This applies to mother and daughter relationships, too, she said. Not resolving conflict can have surprising consequences. But pick your battles. Instead of arguing about something so small, Mintle put the hat on and moved on.
Put yourself in her shoes. But a panoramic lens provides a much wider view, letting us see the object in a larger context.
- Loving you through my tears: exploring the single mother/daughter dynamic
- 15 Insights on Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships
- Mother-daughter relationships: which category do you fit into?
Mintle views forgiveness as key for well-being. Balance individuality and closeness.