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Contesting the Norm? Live-in Relationships in Indian Media Discourses

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Jul 13, Live-in relationships are a relatively novel concept in the Indian context, but our generation is before marriage have often wondered (I have, at least) what the realities of live-in relationships in India are. . Advertisement. Find what you are looking for or create your own ad for free! I m 28 a single mother, would like to start a new relationship that s real I don t have no where Hi I live in harrisburg PA downtown midtown area I am a guy,I am looking for a new. From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, we' ve got all the dating advice you'll ever need from your first date to something.

Contact Author Moving-in together with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Here's how you can make your live-in relationship work. How to make a live-in relationship work? Couples living together may find that there is much more to a live-in relationship than a sugar coated image of two people smiling, laughing and romancing. Whether you are moving in with your long term girlfriend, already living with your boyfriend of a few months or living together before marriage to give your relationship a test run — these tips will help you live with your partner and enjoy the core essence of a live-in relationship.

Don't take each other for granted Don't forget the primary reason that got you into a live-in arrangement with your partner. Throwing suds at each other while doing dishes, waking up to see each other's face in soft sunlight, curling up to have morning coffee together or doing some mischief while cleaning the house are the things that should keep you ticking.

Don't let the routine of living together take charm out of your relationship. Remind yourself to look good, feel sexy and do the things it takes to keep the spark in your relationship alive. Don't let the fact that you see your boyfriend or girlfriend every single day take the smile on your face away when you wake up next to him or her.

Don't let gender dictate tasks Why didn't you do the dishes?

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Why are your clothes on my side of the bed? What are your dirty socks doing in the living room?

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Why have you left the shower dirty? Why is your underwear on my study desk? These are simple questions that can cause petty arguments every day. Unassumingly small issues such as household chores can become a major roadblock when it comes to making a live-in relationship work. Plan a no-nonsense schedule from the very first day you and your partner move in together so that there is no space for confusion.

Whether it is taking the dishes out of the dishwasher or doing the laundry, divide and share all household responsibilities. Don't mar the essence of your live-in relationship by fighting like a cute married couple. The responsibilities of an unplanned pregnancy can put pressure on your live-in relationship.

Source 3 Avoid pregnancy during a live-in relationship Unprotected physical intimacy that results in an unplanned pregnancy can ruin the very purpose of living-in relationships.

Pregnancy can complicate matters and can put unnecessary pressure on your relationship. The whole point of living together before getting married is negated if you and your partner are bogged down with pregnancy worries. Don't fight because of a third person Visitors to your apartment can include your girlfriend's girly friends, partner's study buddies or even your girlfriend or boyfriend's family.

Both of you are likely to have different comfort levels with visitors at home, especially when you don't know them too well. Make your live-in relationship work by avoid having to fight about unwanted company. Have a clear understanding with your partner about who you can call home. These rules can also include time slots in which your partner can bring over his or her friends if you are a busy working couple. You may even want to specify if you have a certain grudge against any of your partner's friends.

Don't let the presence of others in your home create a bad vibe which may eventually result in arguments and fights. Be on the same page as your partner Are you moving in with your boyfriend simply because you want to save rent? Do you think that you are not falling in love with your girlfriend in the same way she going crazy about you?

Else, keep it a secret.

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The responsibility on each one doubles as both of us have to constantly take care of each other. You get a real taste of marriage. So, basically, think of it as an internship. Romance blooms and you get comfortable in each other's physical company. Since physical compatibility is as important as emotional compatibility, you plan romantic weekends, romantic dinners and other things. You get comfortable in each other's skins. You understand that great sex is not the only thing in great physical compatibility.

Both of you might tend to drift apart from your other set of friends. All the dinners, movies, getaways will generally happen with your live-in partner. So, your friends might feel a bit left out.

  • How to Make Your Live-In Relationship Work: Advice for Couples Living Together Before Marriage
  • What Is It Like To Be In A Live-In Relationship In India? Quora Users Have All The Answers

Your privacy is reduced. There might be some times that one of you will want to do some activity and other would be interested in something else. You will need to strike a fine balance between both your and your partner's needs. Though the rate of acceptance is now increasing but a large part of the society is yet to come to terms with it. Its been more than one year and we haven't faced any issues in Pune.

From the safety point of view, it is of utmost importance to choose the society carefully, not too family oriented and a progressive society would be advisable. Also, try to maintain zero communication with the families around you, they can get nosy.

What Is It Like To Be In A Live-In Relationship In India? Quora Users Have All The Answers

Avoid doing anything to attract attention. In big cities like Delhi, Mumbai etc, its not much of a hassle in the terms of what people will think, what reactions you get from them and everything.

The difficult part comes in when you try and make it work in some small towns or conservative states. I lived with my girlfriend in Punjab, and believe me, its a nightmare!

People cannot digest a 'Live-In' in that state. You wont get a house easily at all, then you get all the nearby aunties murmuring about you the whole time, eyes diverting to you at the local marketplace, even in the social get-togethers you are treated somewhat differently! We told our landlord, who was very conservative, that we are married.

People in neighborhood did not bother much whether we are really married. But it created a lot of issue with BF's family when they come to know about it through some third person. Our marriage plans are still pending due to all this issues. Suppose you spend lakhs of rupees in marriage ceremony and find out that you are so incompatible that divorce is the only way, to end your misery.

You can easily separate after a 'live-in'. Divorces are very messy and time consuming. It is like an Internship, where you come to know whether your future life with your present partner is going to be 'prison of inescapable torment' or a 'heavenly bliss'. There is great danger of exploitation and other disadvantages.

However it is a lesser evil than plunging head on into marriage with an unknown stranger, even if he or she is well known to you as a boyfriend or GF. The real nature comes out only after you live together for long time. My landlord looks at me as if I am some fallen women, but hey that is not new. People do that when I go to discs and even when I am stoned.

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I live in a slightly rural locale in Delhi so all the housewives and shopkeepers they give me a look of, you are a disgrace to society and all. But on the plus side you get to know the person very well, you would have never known even with years of courtship. With both of us working ,life gets busy so for most part you don't even have the time to bother about what other people think. They can only think about marriage and babies after sex. They treat you more as husband than a boyfriend.

Become a joker and entertain her, this is their expectations. Sex is an art of satisfaction, learn some tricks of keep things live and cracking. Even we deserve some pleasure. Stop blaming society and culture.